Dr. John Gottman: How to build trust?
My approach to working with couples is influenced by the work of Dr. John Gottman. In the video below he talks about building trust in "sliding door moments". Enjoy this great communicator!
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The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work
Here is a great suggestion of a book to help you and your partner (re) build your relationship/marriage. It is based on more than four decades of research, by Dr. John Gottman, into the factors that...
View ArticleVideo Review: The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work
Last week I told you about Gottman's book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work". This video gives you a synopsis of the book in a pretty nice way!
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Have you ever wondered why fighting with your partner can be SO exhausting?!
Not all fights are the same or turn out the same. According to Dr. John Gottman, how a fight starts determines how it will end. Fights with your partner that feel confusing, draining, exhausting or...
View ArticleAre arguments with your partner escalating almost every single time?! Learn why!
When arguments escalate between partners, it often is due to the presence of the Four Horsemen, as defined by Dr. Gottman. What are the Four Horsemen?!Watch the video below and see if you find yourself...
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Dirty clothes and other (not so) mundane fights couples have!
"Why are the dirty clothes on the floor?" - How many times have you heard yourself say this and nothing ever changes?! Well, apparently, 69% of the fights we have with our partner are about problems...
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Can all good things about your relationship fit in a house?!
What if there was a simple way to summarize all the good stuff that makes relationships strive? Look no further! Drs. Julie and John Gottman have come up with a simple way to do this based on their...
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Mães e Mulheres também
Nas passadas duas semanas, tem-me apetecido escrever acerca do tema da maternidade e da feminilidade. Todas nós que temos a felicidade de sermos mãe, sentimos um privilégio imenso e um amor profundo...
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Couples Workshop: Learn Tips to Improve Your Relationship!
On 22 January 2017, at 14:00-17:00, on Borgerstraat 102, come join us for a fun afternoon where you will learn tips to improve your love relationship. This workshop is for couples and aims at...
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A hug a day will keep the doctor away!
Did you know that hugging and being hugged has a tremendous positive impact on your health? Researchers from Carnegie Mellon tried to figure out if hugging could protect stressed people from getting a...
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O preconceito de ir à psicóloga
Ir à psicóloga é algo difícil para algumas pessoas. Na realidade, é difícil para a maioria das pessoas. Para além do processo terapêutico ser uma experiência diferente da vivência do dia-a-dia, a fato...
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Contemplação do "eu"
Todos nós possuímos uma visão "oficial" acerca de quem somos e de como nos comportamos. Se perguntarmos às pessoas o que eles pensam de si próprias, normalmente respondem rapidamente, e sem hesitação,...
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The contemplation of the self
We all have official views of who we are and what we do. If you were to ask someone to describe themselves, surely and quickly they would come up with two or three different attributes:"I am a...
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Happy New Year!
Relationship Therapy Amsterdam wishes their clients and friends a wonderful year 2017! May you find the balance you need in your life and relationships!
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Maternal Flow
The stories that we tell and repeat to ourselves can have an impact on how we retrieve memories. Recently, while in conversation with other mothers, we got into the topic of motherhood in the first...
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Where did my best friend go?
As you sit across the table and chew a piece of the mashed potatoes, you glance over the person sitting in front of you and you wonder, "where did my best friend go?!" Uttering any sort of words would...
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How to make sure the conversations with your partner don't turn into fights?
The way a discussion starts determines how it will end. Dr. Gottman predicted that the way you bring up an issue to your partner can determine if it will be a pleasant conversation or a boxing contest!...
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How to make sure the conversations with your partner don't turn into fights?...
Yesterday, I wrote about the way a person initiates a conversation/complaint with their partner impacts how that conversation will end. Today, I would like to talk about the role that the person...
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Myths and Facts about Couple Therapy
There are some misconceptions about couple therapy and how it works. Often, these ideas are rooted in images we kept from movies where couple therapy or counselling was depicted. The mentioned...
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The "how was your day?" question that makes the difference!
With this freezing cold in Amsterdam, by the end of the day, all we want is to bike home as fast as we can to warm up in the cozyness of our home! Getting home and being received with a warm welcome is...
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Putting on the Breaks
The quality of the communication between two lovers has a tremendous impact on the emotional health of their relationship. So much so that Dr. Gottman was able to predict, with an accuracy rate of...
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Building a Connection with Your Child
"Listening to your child is a way to build trust and make your child feel respected and heard. Take time to disconnect from your phone and your computer and be available to listen. You might feel like...
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Parents don't come with a clean slate
"We don't become parents with a clean slate, without past history that might include trauma or painful memories. Sometimes, kids bring up memories that might trigger our own memories of similar...
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Happy Valentine's Day!
Roses are redViolets are blueSweet darling,I love you!Happy Valentine's Day! Today, celebrate the love you have for your partner, and cherish every special moment you spend together!
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Happy Women's Day!!
To all of us that love, cry, laugh, joke, imagine, create... Appreciate the beauty and privilege of being a woman!
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The "good enough" parent.
Winnicott was a psychoanalyst that was brilliant for his time! Amongst other ideas, he believed that our role as parents was the most important role in society, that we don't have to be perfect parents...
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How to connect with your "true" self?
The society that we live in is one that puts a lot of emphasis on the values of reason, pragmatism and utilitarianism. With this comes the loss of understanding people in all their complexity. People...
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A Journey Into Self-Acceptance
It is people's natural tendency to be emotionally connected to others, to the surrounding world and to themselves. Within psychology, there are long-standing views of "psychological ailments" as a sign...
View ArticleAnd The Winner for the Best Marriage Blog Winner Is...
It was with great surprise that, on the last day of the month of July, that this blog and website were considered the Top 100 Marriage Counseling Blogs and Websites for Couplesby FeedSpot Blog Reader!...
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Are movies like Sleeping Beauty destroying our views on love in real life?
For those of us who grew up watching Disney movies such as the Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, we remember the feeling of "fuzziness" felt afterwards. We still have present in our minds the scene where...
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Bonding in Adult Romantic Relationships
Love is one of the most powerful feelings experienced by humans. Much has been said and written about love in the literature, movies, and pop culture. In more recent decades, a huge body of research on...
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World Mental Health Day 2017
This year, the World Mental Health Day focus is on Mental Health in the Workplace. Work is the activity that we spend the majority of our physical and mental time. What we do for work is a very...
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Are You Stuck in a Vicious Cycle With Your Partner?
In a previous post, Bonding in Adult Romantic Relationships, I wrote about "vicious" cycles in relationships and how couples get stuck in them. Today, I will expand on this concept to tell you more...
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Wishing you a Wonderful Christmas!
Relationship Therapy Amsterdam wishes all clients, friends and family a relaxing and cozy Christmas, and a Prosperous New Year 2018!
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Happy New Year!!
Relationship Therapy Amsterdam wishes their clients, friends and family a great New Year's Eve night and a Prosperous 2018!!
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Let's Deal With This Together!
Couples who are caught up in a negative and vicious cycle, struggle to see any alternative solutions outside the current way they are acting towards one another. Because this cycle also touches "tender...
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Happy Easter 2018!
We wish our clients, friends and family a Wonderdul Sunday Easter! May this Easter holiday be an opportunity for "rebirth" and reflection. And, also, some relaxing and fun time with loved ones!
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The 4 Existential Questions
There is an existential side of us, humans, that longs to be seen, to be good enough, to be loved enough and appreciated by others. Thus, there are 4 questions we unconsciously ask others, especially...
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Valentine's Day Promotion
With Valentine's Day coming up, and us celebrating moving into a new office, in Amsterdam Zuid, we are offering couples, who want to start couples therapy a 10% discount!What better month than...
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